This past spring, it was time to go before the main Board of Ordained Ministry. This is the BIG board that has the decision-making power to allow me to proceed to Ordination...the first step being "Commissioning" as a Probationary Elder.
Again, there were questions to be answered along with, this time, a Bible Study to be written and a sermon to be preached and video-taped. These were then forwarded to a Triad (group of three persons -laity and clergy) to review.
I then met with them, was grilled, er...uh...questioned (smiling) and approved to go before the BOM. This committee is like 60 persons, again both clergy and laity. It is split into three groups: Theology, Church and Personal. You spend about 20-25 minutes with each group, again being questioned, questioned, and questioned. Each group has the authority to approve or disapprove one. If all three approve, you then go before the WHOLE board for the final "OK".
It was a harrowing experience. The groups could ask you almost anything. The questions could require specific answers, or could be situational, where they want to know what you would do in a situation. After each individual group, you are excused while they discuss you...much like the dBOM. Then you are brought back and and congratulated, if you are passed.
I had Church then Personal and finished with Theology. I think perhaps I really had the best order. Church was a little difficult, but it gave me a confidence boost when I 'passed.' I then went to Personal, where I didn't have any doubts about doing well; so then I went into Theology with two of the three completed and was much more relaxed.
I was passed on in all three groups and also before the whole board. To say that I was floating on the clouds would be an understatement. I was ecstatic.
Then came the APPOINTMENT PROCESS. SInce I had been passed on as a Probationary Elder, I was finally up for an appointment. I was hoping to stay in the Houston area due to my parents health situation, but I had been preparing them for the possibility of being appointed as far away as Texarkana.
I was having dinner in Dallas after class one night with my traveling buddy when my phone rang showing I had a message. I had been in class, so the phone was on vibrate and I hadn't realized it had rang earlier. I called and listened to my voice mail and it was my District Superintendent. "Kim, call me. We need to talk about being a little farther out from Houston."
My heart began to race. I felt like from his voice that being "farther out from Houston" was not a good thing! I called and he said that the Cabinet was wanting to appoint me to Beckville UMC. My first question in my head was "where on earth is BECKVILLE?" I had never even heard of it. I asked, very controlled.. "Where is that?" He proceded to tell me it was in the Longview District, just a little south of Longview. Since I agree to the itinerancy of the United Methodist Church, I said..."Well, Okay." He chatted for another couple of minutes, telling me that the DS from that District would be getting in touch with me shortly and that he felt this would be a good appointment for me." I hung up, swallowed deeply and then let the tears flow.
My friend kept asking "Where are you going, where are you going?" I finally said "BECKVILLE." Her first remark was "WHERE IS THAT?" I had to laugh at that point! I called another friend and had her look up some information on the church. I was oh so scared to call my parents and let them know...but felt that perhaps since it was close to Longview, where I have an aunt and some cousins...it might soften the news.
I called and was pleasantly surprised at their reaction. Yes, they were disappointed, but did surprisingly well! I then called my aunt in Longview and she was thrilled! So...WHERE IS BECKVILLE?
It is between Carthage and Longview on Hwy 149. It is about 8 miles northwest of Carthage and 25 miles south of Longview. It has a population of 752 and there are 12 churches in the area. I am serving as "Senior Pastor of the Largest Methodist Church in Beckville!"
Graduation was spectacular. It was held at the Methodist church that is on campus of SMU. I wasn't sure if dad was going to be able to make it as he had back surgery about 1 month before graduation. But his doctor told him if he didn't drive, push, pull, or lift...he could go. I made sure he didn't! I drove, pushed mom's wheelchair, lifted the luggage and got them around. I was so thrilled that they were there. They were so important in my getting through seminary, supporting me (not financially...I did it on my own!), but they were the emotional support so many times. It was a wonderful and blessed weekend that I will never forget! Seeing that diploma with Cum Laude (could it have been any smaller?) was a dream fulfilled. Being with friends who had travlled the road (often literally!) with me made it even more special. It was truly one of the highlights of my life!
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Monday, March 13, 2006
District Board of Ordained Ministry and Spaghetti!
Once I had decided to pursue ordained ministry, I began the process of becoming a "certified candidate." This process involved answering questions about my calling, my understanding of ministry and questions on my theology. It also required meeting with the Board of Ordained Ministry on a yearly basis to allow them to check my progress and to continue to approve me to proceed.
The first time I met with them, I had been in seminary just a little over a semester. (I know, it seems odd that I did it this way; one would think I would go before the board, get their approval and then start seminary. I just did it a little backwards, but then quite a few do it this way!) Anyway, I was, to say the least nervous about meeting with the Board. This is the District Board, which is just ministers and lay persons from my home district; but still for me it was very intimidating. I had no idea what they would ask and that "test anxiety" kicked into high gear.
I get to the place where the dBOM is meeting and there are a couple of other people sitting there besides me. I quickly learn when my District Superintendent comes out and takes one of these persons in that he had just finished his time before the board. I could hear clapping and congratulatory comments. Then the DS comes out, greets me and tells me they are running a little bit behind and asks if I am pressed on time. Like I am going to tell him "YES!" I reassure him I am fine and he takes the other person in for their interview.
I sit there alone, praying silently for the butterflies to be squelched, and about 20 minutes later, the candidate comes out and looks amazingly calm, cool and collected. He reassures me, "It isn't bad at all!" Within a couple of minutes, again the DS comes out, takes this person back in and th clapping and congratulatory comments are repeated. The candidate comes back out grinning, shakes my hand, and wishes me luck.
During his interview, a delivery boy begins to bring in what appears to be food. Several large tin pans, some bread, iced tea, and bags of salad. The DS comes out and again apologizes for the delay and asks, "Would you please have lunch with us and then we will do your interview?" Now, in all honesty, at that moment in time, the last thing I wanted to do was eat, much less eat with the dBOM who holds in their hands my future! "Sure" I reply (wondering where my voice had come from!)
The DS takes me in where the lunch is being set up and introduces me saying that I will be joining them for lunch. He takes me to the food and I look down and see....SPAGHETTI! Now, Italian food happens to be my favorite, but I am wearing black slacks and a WHITE blouse! I can just see me with spaghetti all down the front of me as I go in before the dBOM for my interview.
The DS hands me a plate and proceeds to serve me. "Just a little," I manage to eek out. I then get a little salad and a glass of tea and go to sit down. The District office is in one of the area churches and this particular meal is taking place in a Sunday school room...a YOUTH Sunday school room...with smaller YOUTH chairs! Not the most comfortable seating arrangement, but the one nice thing is it does make it a little easier to keep from spilling food all down the front of me.
I sit down to eat, trying to look relaxed while the whole time I am thinking..."don't spill...don't spill..." I get through m spaghetti, when suddenly here is the DS holding the pan about ready to dip me up some more. I manage to get out an "OH! No thank you" before he dips me some more.
After the lunch, I run to the ladies room to check for those infamous "food particles in the teeth" while they are re-convening. The DS comes and gets me, takes me in and I begin the interview process. In all honesty...it WASN'T that bad. I am there, oh about 20 minutes and then dismissed so they can make their decision.
Now, remember, I had seen two previous candidates go through this and neither had taken very long in the decision process. I went into the ante room to wait. I waited, waited, waited...and waited. It was probably close to 10 minutes and I was beginning to panic, and was almost close to tears. The DS come rushing out, grabbed my hand and began to apologize. "Oh Kim, I am so sorry..." I almost didn't hear anything else, but I hung in there. "We shouldn't have left you out here like this. We were trying to make some decisions about how to handle the rest of the afternoon. Come on in, come on in..."
Well, by this time my knees were like rubber and my heart was beating like a drum. I wasn't sure if I was going to make it. I walked in and was almost afraid to look around; but when I did, the clapping started and the congratulatory remarks were made. "We are pleased to tell you...you are now a certified candidate. And again, accept our apologies for our rudeness."
So, there it is...I am certified. I had to repeat the process each year until I graduated, but none of the remaining times were near as stressful or eventful. I can say now, I don't think I could have handled it if they had been!
The first time I met with them, I had been in seminary just a little over a semester. (I know, it seems odd that I did it this way; one would think I would go before the board, get their approval and then start seminary. I just did it a little backwards, but then quite a few do it this way!) Anyway, I was, to say the least nervous about meeting with the Board. This is the District Board, which is just ministers and lay persons from my home district; but still for me it was very intimidating. I had no idea what they would ask and that "test anxiety" kicked into high gear.
I get to the place where the dBOM is meeting and there are a couple of other people sitting there besides me. I quickly learn when my District Superintendent comes out and takes one of these persons in that he had just finished his time before the board. I could hear clapping and congratulatory comments. Then the DS comes out, greets me and tells me they are running a little bit behind and asks if I am pressed on time. Like I am going to tell him "YES!" I reassure him I am fine and he takes the other person in for their interview.
I sit there alone, praying silently for the butterflies to be squelched, and about 20 minutes later, the candidate comes out and looks amazingly calm, cool and collected. He reassures me, "It isn't bad at all!" Within a couple of minutes, again the DS comes out, takes this person back in and th clapping and congratulatory comments are repeated. The candidate comes back out grinning, shakes my hand, and wishes me luck.
During his interview, a delivery boy begins to bring in what appears to be food. Several large tin pans, some bread, iced tea, and bags of salad. The DS comes out and again apologizes for the delay and asks, "Would you please have lunch with us and then we will do your interview?" Now, in all honesty, at that moment in time, the last thing I wanted to do was eat, much less eat with the dBOM who holds in their hands my future! "Sure" I reply (wondering where my voice had come from!)
The DS takes me in where the lunch is being set up and introduces me saying that I will be joining them for lunch. He takes me to the food and I look down and see....SPAGHETTI! Now, Italian food happens to be my favorite, but I am wearing black slacks and a WHITE blouse! I can just see me with spaghetti all down the front of me as I go in before the dBOM for my interview.
The DS hands me a plate and proceeds to serve me. "Just a little," I manage to eek out. I then get a little salad and a glass of tea and go to sit down. The District office is in one of the area churches and this particular meal is taking place in a Sunday school room...a YOUTH Sunday school room...with smaller YOUTH chairs! Not the most comfortable seating arrangement, but the one nice thing is it does make it a little easier to keep from spilling food all down the front of me.
I sit down to eat, trying to look relaxed while the whole time I am thinking..."don't spill...don't spill..." I get through m spaghetti, when suddenly here is the DS holding the pan about ready to dip me up some more. I manage to get out an "OH! No thank you" before he dips me some more.
After the lunch, I run to the ladies room to check for those infamous "food particles in the teeth" while they are re-convening. The DS comes and gets me, takes me in and I begin the interview process. In all honesty...it WASN'T that bad. I am there, oh about 20 minutes and then dismissed so they can make their decision.
Now, remember, I had seen two previous candidates go through this and neither had taken very long in the decision process. I went into the ante room to wait. I waited, waited, waited...and waited. It was probably close to 10 minutes and I was beginning to panic, and was almost close to tears. The DS come rushing out, grabbed my hand and began to apologize. "Oh Kim, I am so sorry..." I almost didn't hear anything else, but I hung in there. "We shouldn't have left you out here like this. We were trying to make some decisions about how to handle the rest of the afternoon. Come on in, come on in..."
Well, by this time my knees were like rubber and my heart was beating like a drum. I wasn't sure if I was going to make it. I walked in and was almost afraid to look around; but when I did, the clapping started and the congratulatory remarks were made. "We are pleased to tell you...you are now a certified candidate. And again, accept our apologies for our rudeness."
So, there it is...I am certified. I had to repeat the process each year until I graduated, but none of the remaining times were near as stressful or eventful. I can say now, I don't think I could have handled it if they had been!
Sunday, March 12, 2006
It's a "Good Thing" I love to read!
I had a friend who had been in seminary and I was quizing her before I actually began classes about the amount of work ahead of me. She too, was working a full-time job, and in addition had family responsibilities, and although I don't have children, I too, had family responsibilities! I needed to see what this was going to do to my "social life" (which consisted of church activities and more church activities, along with visiting on a frequent basis with my folks).
This friend told me she averaged about 100 pages a night reading. "Well," I thought, "it could be worse!" (ah...blind faith!)
I will admit, there were days I would get home from work, fix a quick bite to eat and begin reading and think I was never going to get to bed. I would read an average of about 6 hours a night and feel like I had just made a dent in what needed to be done.
Gone were the carefree weekends! I was either reading or writing...or both!
Sometimes, I would read the same paragraph (oh well, let's get honest...sometimes it was the same sentence!) four or five times, to try and grasp what I was reading! I would sit with a dictionary beside me so that I could look up new words and then I would write the definitions in the margins and put a stickynote flag there with the word written on it so I could reference back if need be. I would also stickynote flag things I didn't understand, things I wanted to rememer, things I had questions on. Believe you me...sometimes there were tons of stickynote flags!
One of my big fears is TESTS! I panic when I renew my driver's license. I HATE tests! I fear failure and tests seem to be the way that determine if one is a failure. It all stems back to sixth grade...long story! Anyway, I think the idea of tests frightened me more than anything else. SO..the first test comes along. Now remember, I am taking Old Testament...
We are given a study guide to assist us in preparing for this test. I also find out the test is essay! Well, I am a little relieved, because I can usually write fairly well! Then I look at this study guide. Can you say 'coronary'?
There are like 12 questions on this study guide, and they are not "What was the name of the man who built the BIG boat and took all the animals for a ride while it rained 40 days/nights!"
Fortunately, I get in a good study partnership and study group. We meet and study together for a week or so before the exam.
The big night comes...my heart is racing...adrenaline is pumping...I am reviewing facts in my head. The infamous 'blue books' are passed out... "you have 1.5 hours to complete the exam." I think..."is that all? Surely not! I will need more time than that!" But...surprisingly, I finish within the time limit. I turn the test in, not really sure at all if God knows what God is doing in calling me to go to seminary. My thought process: "I don't think I did well...I didn't answer the questions right...I didn't go deep enough with my answers...I probably royally failed this test!"
Because of the schedule of classes, it is two weeks before I get the test back. The professor passes them out at the end of class, so I have to sit for three hours before seeing how "poorly" I had done. I spent those two weeks wondering if it was too late to get any kind of reimbursement. When I open the blue book and flip to the end of my writing...I see the grade...
A-! A MINUS! I had made an A-! I think you could have either scraped me off the floor, or had to pull me off the clouds! I was ecstatic!
I couldn't wait to call someone and tell them...mainly I just wanted to hear myself say, "I made an A-!"
SO the saga continued throughout school. I never got over test anxiety. And there were only maybe three times that I truly worried about not doing well on a test. In those cases, I was not the only one who worried. Most of the time, I did well; a couple of times, it was only fine.
But as one friend told me..."what do they call the doctor who graduates last in the class?" That person is still called "doctor"...the same goes for "reverend." Well, that is true, but I didn't want to be last...remember, my goal was "With Honors."
Reading, writing, studying, writing, more studying and more reading...all got me through seminary with that 'Cum Laude' on the diploma...
Now we will see where God plans on using me...
This friend told me she averaged about 100 pages a night reading. "Well," I thought, "it could be worse!" (ah...blind faith!)
I will admit, there were days I would get home from work, fix a quick bite to eat and begin reading and think I was never going to get to bed. I would read an average of about 6 hours a night and feel like I had just made a dent in what needed to be done.
Gone were the carefree weekends! I was either reading or writing...or both!
Sometimes, I would read the same paragraph (oh well, let's get honest...sometimes it was the same sentence!) four or five times, to try and grasp what I was reading! I would sit with a dictionary beside me so that I could look up new words and then I would write the definitions in the margins and put a stickynote flag there with the word written on it so I could reference back if need be. I would also stickynote flag things I didn't understand, things I wanted to rememer, things I had questions on. Believe you me...sometimes there were tons of stickynote flags!
One of my big fears is TESTS! I panic when I renew my driver's license. I HATE tests! I fear failure and tests seem to be the way that determine if one is a failure. It all stems back to sixth grade...long story! Anyway, I think the idea of tests frightened me more than anything else. SO..the first test comes along. Now remember, I am taking Old Testament...
We are given a study guide to assist us in preparing for this test. I also find out the test is essay! Well, I am a little relieved, because I can usually write fairly well! Then I look at this study guide. Can you say 'coronary'?
There are like 12 questions on this study guide, and they are not "What was the name of the man who built the BIG boat and took all the animals for a ride while it rained 40 days/nights!"
Fortunately, I get in a good study partnership and study group. We meet and study together for a week or so before the exam.
The big night comes...my heart is racing...adrenaline is pumping...I am reviewing facts in my head. The infamous 'blue books' are passed out... "you have 1.5 hours to complete the exam." I think..."is that all? Surely not! I will need more time than that!" But...surprisingly, I finish within the time limit. I turn the test in, not really sure at all if God knows what God is doing in calling me to go to seminary. My thought process: "I don't think I did well...I didn't answer the questions right...I didn't go deep enough with my answers...I probably royally failed this test!"
Because of the schedule of classes, it is two weeks before I get the test back. The professor passes them out at the end of class, so I have to sit for three hours before seeing how "poorly" I had done. I spent those two weeks wondering if it was too late to get any kind of reimbursement. When I open the blue book and flip to the end of my writing...I see the grade...
A-! A MINUS! I had made an A-! I think you could have either scraped me off the floor, or had to pull me off the clouds! I was ecstatic!
I couldn't wait to call someone and tell them...mainly I just wanted to hear myself say, "I made an A-!"
SO the saga continued throughout school. I never got over test anxiety. And there were only maybe three times that I truly worried about not doing well on a test. In those cases, I was not the only one who worried. Most of the time, I did well; a couple of times, it was only fine.
But as one friend told me..."what do they call the doctor who graduates last in the class?" That person is still called "doctor"...the same goes for "reverend." Well, that is true, but I didn't want to be last...remember, my goal was "With Honors."
Reading, writing, studying, writing, more studying and more reading...all got me through seminary with that 'Cum Laude' on the diploma...
Now we will see where God plans on using me...
Friday, March 10, 2006
Trust Becomes Real
So, I resume working as a nurse in late 1999 and begin to seriously look at seminary. I promise God to submit my paper work so that I can start in the fall of 2000. I manage, however, to drag my feet so that I just barely make the deadline, but I do!
Now, it has been some 20 years since I have been in school... I have purused the catalogue and I tell God, "I am doing this, but to start off, I need your help. Please give me something easy for the first semester...like New Testament!" So, I go to the orientation and find out the only classes I can take are Old Testament I and Christian History II! OLD TESTAMENT... I know very little about the Old Testament, only the stories one learns in Sunday school and Vacation Bible School. Also, I didn't want to take the second half of Christian History before I took the first half!
I had decided I would only take one class to ease me back into school. So, although I did it begrudingly, ("God, Old Testament wasn't what I wanted!!!"), I signed up for Old Testament. Someone then remarked to me, "Well, what better place to begin your seminary experience than at the beginning!"
I had debated telling a lot of people that I had actually started, especially those I was working with. That way, if I failed out...no one would know! However, that didn't last. I decided I needed the prayers more than anything else, and that failure was not an option. Afterall, God had gotten me this far... and I was trusting that God would continue to lead me!
Now, it has been some 20 years since I have been in school... I have purused the catalogue and I tell God, "I am doing this, but to start off, I need your help. Please give me something easy for the first semester...like New Testament!" So, I go to the orientation and find out the only classes I can take are Old Testament I and Christian History II! OLD TESTAMENT... I know very little about the Old Testament, only the stories one learns in Sunday school and Vacation Bible School. Also, I didn't want to take the second half of Christian History before I took the first half!
I had decided I would only take one class to ease me back into school. So, although I did it begrudingly, ("God, Old Testament wasn't what I wanted!!!"), I signed up for Old Testament. Someone then remarked to me, "Well, what better place to begin your seminary experience than at the beginning!"
I had debated telling a lot of people that I had actually started, especially those I was working with. That way, if I failed out...no one would know! However, that didn't last. I decided I needed the prayers more than anything else, and that failure was not an option. Afterall, God had gotten me this far... and I was trusting that God would continue to lead me!
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Giving In...
After about two and one-half to three months, and talking to as many people as possible, I decided the call to ministry was not just my imagination and I gave in!
Iwas looking at beginning to look for a job. Nursing jobs at this point were not hard to come by, but I wanted something that would allow me to go to seminary. I found out Perkins School of Theology had an off campus program here in Houston! Was I surprised? No. I figured God was working all this out long before I came to my senses!
I had decided that perhaps I should investigate school nursing. That would allow me to work during the year and take classes in the summer. I did not realize at this point that it woudl take me a really long time to finish seminary this was, as I would only be able to take two classes a summer. I also didn't know for sure if I could the classes here in Houston. I really knew nothing about the Houston Program.
About the time I decided to look into school nursing, a friend called me and asked was I still "unemployed." I told her yes, and asked why. "Oh...I was wondering if you would be interested in being a school nurse." I had told no one about my looking into this possibility. A position at the Senior High had opened up. She was the nurse at the Junior High!
OK, God...I get the message! I began the interview process for that position. It was in Richmond/Rosenberg, which would have been about an 80 mile round trip for me from where I was currently living. I got to to the second and final round of interviews. It was between me and one other for the final selection. I was beginning to think "I have this figured out, God!" Then...the bottom fell out. One morning I recieved a call saying they had selected the other nurse, she had school nurse experience.
I was devastated, to say the least. Had I gotten it all wrong? Had I made a mistake? Was I supposed to be going into ministry? I mean, how could I do floor nursing, or OR nursing and go to school. My schedule in such areas would require rotating shifts, on-calls, etc. That wouldn't work with going to school.
I prayed and cried. "God...if this is what you want me to do, you are going to have to give me some kind of sign; you are going to have to work this out!"
That very afternoon I recieved a call from a physician I had known at MDACC..." Are you still without a job?" she asked. I told her, well, as a matter of fact, I was; that I had just found out I didn't get the job I had applied for.
"Don't take any job...I want you to come to work for me. Can you come and talk with me this afternoon?" My reply was, "Uh, well, yes...sure...where?"
We made arrangements, I went to talk with her; finding out exactly what she was wanting. I then asked her how she knew I was not working. Turns out, when I was laid off, another nurse I knew was in a clinic when I went to tell everyone goodbye. She remembered I had been laid off and told Dr. F. Dr. F knew me and asked the nurse to get my phone number so she could call me.
I told Dr. F of my plans, and asked her if that would present any problems. She was thrilled and told me emphatically it wouldn't. She encouraged any of her staff to further their education.
So...it turned out that I went back to work at MDACC 4 months after being laid off. I resumed working at my previous salary, with my vacation, sickleave and seniority all still intact; and with the blessings of being able to go to school.
When God wants you to do something, it is best to just given it. Life is much easier when you do!
Iwas looking at beginning to look for a job. Nursing jobs at this point were not hard to come by, but I wanted something that would allow me to go to seminary. I found out Perkins School of Theology had an off campus program here in Houston! Was I surprised? No. I figured God was working all this out long before I came to my senses!
I had decided that perhaps I should investigate school nursing. That would allow me to work during the year and take classes in the summer. I did not realize at this point that it woudl take me a really long time to finish seminary this was, as I would only be able to take two classes a summer. I also didn't know for sure if I could the classes here in Houston. I really knew nothing about the Houston Program.
About the time I decided to look into school nursing, a friend called me and asked was I still "unemployed." I told her yes, and asked why. "Oh...I was wondering if you would be interested in being a school nurse." I had told no one about my looking into this possibility. A position at the Senior High had opened up. She was the nurse at the Junior High!
OK, God...I get the message! I began the interview process for that position. It was in Richmond/Rosenberg, which would have been about an 80 mile round trip for me from where I was currently living. I got to to the second and final round of interviews. It was between me and one other for the final selection. I was beginning to think "I have this figured out, God!" Then...the bottom fell out. One morning I recieved a call saying they had selected the other nurse, she had school nurse experience.
I was devastated, to say the least. Had I gotten it all wrong? Had I made a mistake? Was I supposed to be going into ministry? I mean, how could I do floor nursing, or OR nursing and go to school. My schedule in such areas would require rotating shifts, on-calls, etc. That wouldn't work with going to school.
I prayed and cried. "God...if this is what you want me to do, you are going to have to give me some kind of sign; you are going to have to work this out!"
That very afternoon I recieved a call from a physician I had known at MDACC..." Are you still without a job?" she asked. I told her, well, as a matter of fact, I was; that I had just found out I didn't get the job I had applied for.
"Don't take any job...I want you to come to work for me. Can you come and talk with me this afternoon?" My reply was, "Uh, well, yes...sure...where?"
We made arrangements, I went to talk with her; finding out exactly what she was wanting. I then asked her how she knew I was not working. Turns out, when I was laid off, another nurse I knew was in a clinic when I went to tell everyone goodbye. She remembered I had been laid off and told Dr. F. Dr. F knew me and asked the nurse to get my phone number so she could call me.
I told Dr. F of my plans, and asked her if that would present any problems. She was thrilled and told me emphatically it wouldn't. She encouraged any of her staff to further their education.
So...it turned out that I went back to work at MDACC 4 months after being laid off. I resumed working at my previous salary, with my vacation, sickleave and seniority all still intact; and with the blessings of being able to go to school.
When God wants you to do something, it is best to just given it. Life is much easier when you do!
The First Steps
As I began to realize my calling to ministry beyond nursing, I also began to search out...to discern...what it was that God was calling me to. I discussed different options with a pastor, looking at different avenues of ministry where I felt I 'fit.' I (critical fact here...relying on self!) did not believe I was being called to preach, or to I loved children, so perhaps educational ministries; I love music, so perhaps music ministries; but neither of these really struck my heart. One day chaplaincy was mentioned and it was like the proverbial light bulb lighting up. Of course - what better way to blend my nursing career with the calling I was feeling! Then I discovered to be a Methodist chaplain, I would still need to become an ordained minister.
"Wait a minute, God... that isn't in my plan! Besides, that requires a whole lot of schooling! I am working full-time... I can't work and go to school..."
Well, one needs to be extremely cautious when trying to get God to fit YOUR plans! God has a strange way of getting YOUR plans to fit those of God!
One week before I was to celebrate my 2oth anniversary as a nurse at MDACC as well as it being the day before I was to start a two-week vacation, I was laid off! The division in which I was working was being dissolved!
I was devestated to say the least. I was given a 6 month severance package which allowed me to continue being paid, covered my insurance and accrue both vacation and sick time. I suddenly realized God was telling me, "OK, you said you couldn't work and go to school. What is your excuse now?"
I had none. Except that I needed money to pay my bills, even to pay for school. However, sinceI was still getting a "salary", so to speak, for the next six months, I decided to use this unexpected time of freedom to do some serious soul searching. I decided to not look for a job for three months and to just relax and spend some time deciding exactly what God was calling me to.
"Wait a minute, God... that isn't in my plan! Besides, that requires a whole lot of schooling! I am working full-time... I can't work and go to school..."
Well, one needs to be extremely cautious when trying to get God to fit YOUR plans! God has a strange way of getting YOUR plans to fit those of God!
One week before I was to celebrate my 2oth anniversary as a nurse at MDACC as well as it being the day before I was to start a two-week vacation, I was laid off! The division in which I was working was being dissolved!
I was devestated to say the least. I was given a 6 month severance package which allowed me to continue being paid, covered my insurance and accrue both vacation and sick time. I suddenly realized God was telling me, "OK, you said you couldn't work and go to school. What is your excuse now?"
I had none. Except that I needed money to pay my bills, even to pay for school. However, sinceI was still getting a "salary", so to speak, for the next six months, I decided to use this unexpected time of freedom to do some serious soul searching. I decided to not look for a job for three months and to just relax and spend some time deciding exactly what God was calling me to.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
The History of the Beginning
I began my journey in ministry long before entering the process to ordination. For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a nurse. As a child, I got a Nurse's Kit for a Birthday or Christmas present; you know the kind: the little plastic nurse's bag with the plastic stethescope, thermometer, medicine bottle, and clip board! Even before I could read, I would look through my mom's nursing books and dream of the day when I would be a nurse.
That goal was accomplished in 1979 when I graduated from TWU and the subsequently passed my State Boards. I was an "RN"...Real Nurse! I had started, just shortly before my graduation, at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, TX. I then spent the next 24 years there as a nurse.
Throughout my career as a nurse, I began to see nursing as ministry! Of course, I would often pray for my patients, and occassionally would pray with my patients. But as time went on and my position changed, I found it more and more difficult to pray with my patients. I just could not take that luxury of time. I was required to be present with physicians for exams, I needed to do my charting, I was needed to be an assistant for procedures. These and many other duties kept me from spending any length of extra time with my patients. Many knew I was a Christian and would ask me to pray for them, I just could not stop and pray with them. Fortunately, they understood!
I had always thought I would go back to school and get my Masters in nursing, becoming a Nurse Practioner or a Clinical Nurse Specialist. There were many who encouraged me to pursue furthering my education and I wanted to. Yet, it seemed each time I seriously considered it something just did not seem right. It didn't fit... little did I realize that God had other plans!
After a change of positions I found myself realizing that I was being led in a different direction; a direction I could have never imagined. The journey was just beginning!
That goal was accomplished in 1979 when I graduated from TWU and the subsequently passed my State Boards. I was an "RN"...Real Nurse! I had started, just shortly before my graduation, at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, TX. I then spent the next 24 years there as a nurse.
Throughout my career as a nurse, I began to see nursing as ministry! Of course, I would often pray for my patients, and occassionally would pray with my patients. But as time went on and my position changed, I found it more and more difficult to pray with my patients. I just could not take that luxury of time. I was required to be present with physicians for exams, I needed to do my charting, I was needed to be an assistant for procedures. These and many other duties kept me from spending any length of extra time with my patients. Many knew I was a Christian and would ask me to pray for them, I just could not stop and pray with them. Fortunately, they understood!
I had always thought I would go back to school and get my Masters in nursing, becoming a Nurse Practioner or a Clinical Nurse Specialist. There were many who encouraged me to pursue furthering my education and I wanted to. Yet, it seemed each time I seriously considered it something just did not seem right. It didn't fit... little did I realize that God had other plans!
After a change of positions I found myself realizing that I was being led in a different direction; a direction I could have never imagined. The journey was just beginning!
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