As I am sitting here, thinking about all that is occurring in my life; where I have been, where I am going, etc... this picture pops up on my Facebook - well, actually it was a T-shirt, but I cropped the picture!
 
From the time I became "an adult in the working world" - I have met wonderful people on the journey. I remember many of my patients - of course not ALL their names, but there were bunches that imprinted my heart. The physicians, nurses, therapists, ancillary staff, again, all had an impact on me. My professors in seminary, the friends I made along that path, all have helped to shape and form me, and continuing to do so as we journey along.
 
When I received my first appointment, it was (for me!) a long way from my home - not only in distance but in culture. I was back in the atmosphere of that small town of my youth when I had spent 37 years in the 4th largest city in the country! However, Beckville - the people of Beckville First UMC and the community very quickly became a comforting and familiar place. It was during my 8 years there that I lost 7 family members - both my parents, all my dad's siblings (2 brothers[uncles], 1 sister[aunt], one of my uncles' wives, and a great niece. Through the prayers of many in that community I was able to wade through the grief.
It was hard to leave there, but that is the life of a United Methodist pastor. I was nervous, frightened, anxious. After all, my parents had been my greatest support; and when things were rocky, when I was lonely, when I faced uncertainties, they were the ones who cheered me on, supported me, encouraged me. And although I have 2 WONDERFUL sisters and their families, it just isn't the same as Mom and Dad!
 
So the move came, and I landed in Trinity. Again, in short order the church and the community began to feel like "home" They were wonderful! They have taken this female pastor (first for Trinity First UMC) and welcomed me and looked out for me.
Now, it is really the place of the pastor to shepherd the congregation; and my prayers are that I have done that to the best of my ability, and done it through the grace and strength of my God. However, both Beckville and Trinity have also sheperded (is that a word??) me I cannot believe how blessed I have been to have two absolutely wonderful, caring, loving congregations; and that isn't to just me - but also to the communities in which they are a part of.
 
I am beginning to prepare for another move. This one is probably second only to the move to Beckville, (in which I felt I was, as Jesus talked about in Luke 10 - "Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves.") However...NEITHER Congregation have been wolves! They have all been my friends, but that first 4-6 months was really hard!

This move has me leaving the ONLY Annual Conference I have ever known, since figuring out what an Annual Conference is! It has me leaving the state that has been my home for nearly 40 years. It has me leaving the comforts of "knowing" and heading into a really big "unknown"!
  
I take with me, though, all those whom I have "met" along the way. As the picture says, "It's not WHERE you go, it's who you meet along the way!" Just as Dorothy had to go through the poppy field, I am traveling along a path unknown, but... I DO know a few things:
ONE: I do not travel that road alone. First and foremost my God is with me. Secondly, I have the love, support and friendships of a whole BUNCH of people.

TWO: I know that where I am going isn't the "Land of OZ" - Oz is just a story - dream; and no matter where I am I will never be in Oz! My home will never be here on this earth. God has assured me of that! My eternal home will be worshiping God. But at the same time, I know where I am going I will find the same loving, kind, supporting people that I have found in Beckville and Trinity.
 
THREE: Finally, this journey isn't just for me. It is for the growing of God's Kingdom. I am just one small cog in the whole plan. If I follow the Lord, that path will be a whole lot easier than if I go it alone. God has placed in my path folk that will help me, and that I will help.

I am looking forward to new adventures, yet the journey that has brought me here, will NEVER be forgotten. I don't believe we were given memories to just be able to store useless knowledge. I believe we were given memories to remind us that even though the path may not seem to be where we thought it would... or should take us, or how we thought it would end up... the journey is about the end destination - Life eternal! And.. through our travels, those people you meet along the way are wonderful gifts!

My Title?

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Milady the Right Reverend Kimberly the Gracious of Tiny Village Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

I have just found out in the last couple of days that my dad has been diagnosed with CLL - Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia. I am a cancer nurse in my "previous" life (before entering full-time ordained ministry) but I knew NOTHING about Leukemia. I had spent my 24 years dealing mainly with breast cancer, colon cancer, melanoma and the like. When dad told me he had been diagnosed with Leukemia, I lost it.

I had actually called to wish them a Happy Valentine's Day as I was headed out to see a gentleman in the nursing home who is very ill. I was driving down the road as he told me and I couldn't figure out where I was going...I was literally "lost" in a town of 752 people... I was on the wrong road, but I couldn't figure out how to get back to the right road.

I was terrified. My contact with Leukemia had basically been when I first started working and was on a pediatric unit (this was in 1979) and we lost two young children within 4 hours to Leukemia. I knew that diagnosis, treatment and survival had much improved over the years, but right at that moment, none of that mattered.

My dad said, "You don't need to be worried, you know people who have done well with this..." and my response was, "Yes...but they weren't MY DAD!" It is somehow so different when it is your own family, but of course, I knew that when I was nursing. It was much easier to tell someone it was going to be OK when it wasn't you who was involved personally in facing whatever they were facing.

I have settled down some. I am no longer consumed by terror... that is not to say that I am not worried. I am worried, but I am confident that what the case is will be as it has been presented. CLL is a Leukemia that is not as aggressive as some of the other Leukemias, and treatment has progressed even farther.

I am trusting God... sometimes that is really hard. My sermon this week is on Mountaintops, Valleys and Plains. How we tend to feel really close to God on the mountaintops, but somehow in the valleys we question God's presence, and in the plains, we almost forget - things are good, no problems, all is well, and God is put on the back burner.

I am climbing up out of that valley right now.

VBS

VBS...Vacation Bible School...
It brings back lots of memories from my childhood. Growing up summers were spent going to Vacation Bible School. We would go to our church (Methodist), then go to my maternal grandparents church (Baptist), sometimes we would go the the Baptist church in our town and the Christian church as well. It didn't matter to anyone whether you were Methodist, Baptist, or Catholic. The churches all worke together so that no one church's VBS interferred with the other's!

Memories of singing songs, hearing Bible stories, making crafts, and of course cookies and Koolaid! In my day, VBS was held in the morning, from like 9-12, was 5 days in length and then the last evening, Friday, there would be a program in which all the kids participated and to which all the parents and grandparents attended. I imagine the preachers fo these little churches would have loved to have that kind of a crowd every Sunday morning!

Well, we just finished our VBS here at B'ville! It was the first VBS in several years and we were a little anxious about it. We had counted up and figured, if "everybody and their brother" came we could potentially have around 50, so we planned for 60! (just in case we had forgotten anyone!) I figured if we had 30...I would be happy. I would take anything, and would be tickled if we were overflowing!

We were only going to do three days and then have our program. It was kind of a way to ease back into it. We also were having it of an evening, for 1.5 hours. So we planned, ordered from OTC, designed backdrops, painted backdrops, ate pizza as we worked and then...IT WAS TIME!

Monday night, we were there at 5 to make sure everything was in order. We had 19 kids, but we knew that there were several who would be there the next night; that hadn't been able to come the first night. OK...so we would be able to use our supplies for out new Children's and YOuth ministry that will start in July.

Tuesday night kids started coming out of the woodwork! We had 34! WooHOO! I was pleased! The biggest group was the toddler, Pre-K and K group! Then came Wednesday and we had 39! If we had kept going through Friday, we may have hit that 50 -60! I was satisfied!

Thursday's program was well attended by parents and grandparents and the kiddos were wonderful! They sang, they recited their Bible verses and they were so proud to show off their craft work!

The adult workers were tired puppies to say the least! However, we have learned some valuable lessons for next year! All-in-all, "The Adventures of the Treasure Seekers" was a success! God was glorified and I am sure pleased with the efforts of all involved to teach the youngest of the kingdom of the love God has stored up for us as treasures in this life!

Well, a bit of time has passed since I posted. A lot of things have happened. It has been a busy month. Let me do a little catching up before I get back to the string of writings that I started out doing!

I took a little vacation early in May, going to Houston, spending time with family and friends. Then there was Annual Conference at the end of May, again back in Houston. However, no time to visit outside of visiting AT Conference!

Back here in B'ville, things have been hopping as well. The Beckville Bearcat Baseball time made it into the playoffs. I know they were their district champs and we went two more rounds into the playoffs before loosing! I managed to get to the last two or three games. I really enjoyed watching them play...even though they lost! They are still to be congratulated! GO BEARCATS!

School ended with a couple of hard times for the kids. The senior high counselor, who had been ill all year with brain cancer died just before the end of the year and then additionally, the band leader had heart surgery, got through that okay, but then died rather suddenly. He was still in the hospital so it was probably related to the heart surgery. The school system here has had, this year then, three deaths. Just before school started last summer one of the kindergarten teachers died. It has been a rough year!

The parsonage has been leveled, the heater replaced, the air conditioner cleaned and I am working now on the main bathroom. We are going to do some painting, probably this fall when things are a little cooler! I told them I would buy the pizza! Hehehe! I am not much of a painter on a grand scale. I am going to attempt to paint the bathroom, after I get the new tiles laid. They are just the stick on kind of tiles that you can lay easily. I have gotten the main center part down and now it will be the time to do the cutting of the odd pieces that will fill in around the edges and the like! I felt rather accomplished just getting the main pieces laid...a little "Martha Stewart" like!

As far as church goes...whew! Where to start? We are doing Vacation Bible School, the first time in several years. This first year, we are just doing like three days and then a program; kind of getting our feet wet, and additionally see how things work for when we start our new Childrens and Youth Ministry program. It will start in July. We had thought about starting it in June, but we needed the time to work on VBS! There are scads of little kids here! For such a small community, we are blessed!

Well, for the time being that is all I am going to write. I will try and be a little more dilegent in my postings now!

First Communion

My first Communion Sunday here at Beckville was July 3, 2005. I had already been warned to expect a light crowd. This congregation has lots of campers! With it being the July 4th weekend, I knew there would be a lot of folk gone. Now, I had never completely performed a Communion Service. I had assisted, but never done the entire liturgy myself. I was a little nervous. We had "practiced" in seminary, but somehow this was different. This was The Real Thing so to speak. I had gone over and over the liturgy at home, practicing when to do what and how.

There are a couple of women who handle preparing the elements, but I still was anxious...what if they didn't show up, what if they went camping, what if they forgot. I thought "perhaps I should have gotten bread and juice - just in case!" But, I hadn't! I woke up early that Sunday morning, getting to the church about 8:30am (Sunday School doesn't start til 10, Worship at 11). I went into the sanctuary, sat in the pew and prayed...and prayed...and prayed! "God...just lead me through this, let me honor you with all that I do..." I went through the liturgy there in the sanctuary, trying to figure out where to stand, how to move; basically I was blocking out the Communion service.

About 9:30 the phone in the church rang. I went to answer it. "Kim, this is Jerry, what time is your worship service?" My mind is racing, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry??? THEN it HITS ME! Jerry is my District Superintendent! "Uh...Worship starts at 11:00. Will you be here?" "Yes," he responds. "We will." "OK, great! See you then!" OK Great??? OK GREAT???? Oh dear! Why my first Communion Sunday? Why July 3, when there may be only a few people here? I begin to feel panic setting in!

Sunday school starts at 10, and I announce to the adult class that the DS will be in worship. They don't seem ruffled by the prospect at all. I leave the class a little early to go in and prepare for worship. The time to begin service starts and just a couple minutes before 11, in the DS and his wife walk. I had thought that since the hour was almost there, perhaps he wasn't coming after all, but no such luck. I manage to get through the sermon and the communion service with only a couple of minor glitches, that were probably only known to me!

After the service, I greeted Jerry and he complimented me on the service. I told him he really caught me off guard! His wife said, "I told him not to call you..." I responded, "I don't know what would have been better-knowing or not knowing!" I guess, in all honesty, I was glad there wasn't a larger congregation there, it probably would have made me more nervous. No matter how much I went through the liturgy in school, no matter how much I practiced at home, actually doing it in front of the congregation was SOOO much different. I am glad to say, I am much more at ease now and feel that I have finally conquered (at least for Beckville UMC) the Communion jitters!

Serving...

I am going to jump a little out of order again; I want to reflect on Maundy Thursday while it is still fairly fresh.

I offered a Maundy Thursday Service of Footwashing and Communion. Services outside of Sunday morning are not usually well attended. although I did have 55 or so on Christmas Eve. I did tell the congregation this Maundy Thursday service would not be over 30 minutes. Lengths of service outside of Sundays are something I have to contend with because of the number of young children that we have. We don't have childcare, and it makes it a little difficult. It will be something I look into this next year...offering child care for services other than Sunday morning. Anyway...

As I said, these services are not always well attended. I didn't know whether to expect only me, or anyone else. I ended up with 15, which for such a small church (125 membership), and this being the first kind of service like this, I thought it was pretty good.

I had gone in earlier in the day and set up for this service. I had the altar table covered in candles, all different kinds and sizes along with my crystal crosses. I had moved one of the large chairs down in front of the altar and had my foot washing bowl and pitcher from my commissioning set up along with two large towels. I also had the Elements for communion on the altar table, using a beautiful chalice that I had been given by Nancy when I left St. T's. I found a beautiful glass paten to match it. So I was set.

I had a short message and went through the communion liturgy, after which I instructed those that felt comfortable to come forward, allow me to wash their feet and then they could partake of communion and have a time of prayer at the altar and that after everyone had finished and was agin seated, they would be dismissed, and I asked them to leave in cotemplative silence. I also gave them the option that if they preferred, I would wash their hands.

It was a humbling experience, to say the least, as I knelt before them, offering in love the sacrifice of washing their feet as Jesus had washed the disciples. I encouraged them to go into the world and offer a sacrificial love to others.

There was only one who had a hand washing and she had on a dress and hose, so it would have been a little more difficult for me to wash her feet. Everyone else allowed me the privilege of serving them in this service.

I had one young girl (she is in 1st grade) who, after I washed her feet, asked me, "Ms Kim...who is going to wash your feet?" I explained to her that there would be no one to wash my feet, just as no one had washed Jesus' feet...that I did this becaus of my love for her and to help her learn to serve others, even when sometimes it was not an easy or fun thing to do. She then reached out and hugged me and said "I love you..." I was almost in tears....

As I said, there were only 15, but, it was so moving that I came home and cried. I realized how much one can love those one has only known for such a short time...love in the way that Christ loves, and that was very powerful for me. I hope to do this again next year, and perhaps there will be more that will participate.

Baptism by Canoe?!?

Shortly after my arrival, the congregation started talking about the "Church Camping Trip." I was told that one of the previous ministers had started this Canoeing/Camping Trip. I was also told that my predecessor had not gone, but that previous ministers in the history of this expedition had. I decided to go, thinking I might get an insight I might not otherwise have.
Here are my writings on the Church Camping/Canoe Trip.

PRE-TRIP:
Well, I am off camping this weekend with the group from the church. I asked “what kind of camping are we talking about?” I am not really into ‘roughing it’ in tents, etc. My Girl Scouting days are LONG over! They assured me it was civilized; that we have cabins and indoor bathrooms.

Then they brought up bathing suits; “You know we go canoeing!” WE WHO???? “You are supposed to bless our trip.”

I told them “I can bless the trip from shore! Canoes tip over too easily, and I don’t swim!” “Oh,” they said, “You must wear a life jacket!” Like that is going to help! When I go to my cousin’s down on the lake, I bungee cord myself to the dock and threaten anyone who comes near me or makes waves! But, we shall see. The water is not supposed to be very deep, however, I said that was all a matter of perspective. If I have Nancy Kellond’s height, yes, the water might not be deep, but remember, I am a SHORTIE!!!

I am looking forward to it. It will give me a chance to get to know some of the congregation a little better. We have a Lay Speaker coming in for Sunday worship, and I will have a little service at the lake.

I am leaving the kittens plenty of food and a couple litter boxes, and hopefully, will come home to a house that has not been totally destroyed. They couldn’t totally destroy it, because I haven’t managed to get it totally fixed yet! They are confined to den and kitchen, but that is their usual space anyway, so it shouldn’t be too bad.

POST TRIP:
I am home from a weekend of white-water canoeing on the White River in Broken Bow, OK. Okay…so I didn’t exactly “shoot the rapids” I DID make it through the shoot…it was just before we went over the rapids that we hit a rock, beached upon that rock and I decided that preaching FROM that rock might not be a bad thing! I could get my sunblock out of the canoe and just sit there!

But, obviously, I am writing this so I am OFF the rock. I was helped through the fast flowing waters to shore, where I walked, yes WALKED around the rapids and rejoined my canoeing partner for the rest of the 4 mile trip. Once the heart slowed down to a more natural rate, I was able to enjoy the scenery and trip. Later that evening I took another boat ride (a ten passenger boat!) around a beautiful lake in Hoachie Town, OK(Long story on the town’s name!) It was wonderful, the boat didn’t rock and I didn’t have to paddle! I was a little sore in the shoulders last night, but am back to 100% today.

We had a great time, and the group told me I could stay on as pastor! I didn’t take my camera so there are NO Pics! Sorry ‘bout that, but I can give you names/numbers if you want verification!

I returned home to 2 very happy kitties and we are all sitting here now, snuggled together as I type this!

I also got some good sermon stories this weekend! The group told me that is one thing they knew would happen! We have one little boy (almost three-he didn’t go canoeing!) who insists on calling me ‘newpastor’ He will say, “Mawmaw, can I go listen to newpastors radio (my Ipod!)” Or Mawmaw, is the newpastor going on the boat too?” Maybe one day, I will no longer be “newpastor” I think perhaps this weekend has begun that for me!

Culture Shock

I arrive in Beckville around 7:30 pm, after unloading my kittens and walking around the house, I call John (a member of the church) to let him know I have arrived. He tells me he will be right over. I proceed to unload some of my stuff from the car. I have a bedroom that is furnished with furniture and I have brought sheets, towels, a clock and some personal items so that I can at least know that I will have a bed to sleep in. The moving van is scheduled to arrive around 7am the next morning.

Shortly, there is a knock at my door...it isn't John or his wife, and I don't know who it is. I open the door and she introduces herself..."Ruth." She tells me that John had called her because she was closer than he was and she could get there a little more quickly. She also tells me she has prepared some spaghetti for me, and asks would I prefer to eat it here, or go to her house. I tell her I was pretty well exhausted, and although I appreciated the invite, I thought I would prefer to eat it here.

John arrives just momentarily and the three of us make a quick walk through of the parsonage. We look at the living room and I ask if I need permission to paint. You must understand. The furniture in the living/dining room is really nice, but the walls are painted dark forest green and about every 6 inches there is a 6 inch gold stripe. Then on the green stripes at either end of the room are gold paint stamped 6 inch dragon flies!!!

"Do you not like dragonflies?" Ruth asks. Oh dear...first issue.
My response: "Well, I don't mind dragonflies, I just don't really like them on the living room wall..." (Cross my fingers, hoping I am not stepping on any toes before I have even gotten moved in!)

Ruth states, "I don't like them!" (Whew! OK! First disaster averted).

Ruth says she will run home and get the spaghetti and while she is gone John and I talk briefly about the church service coming up on Sunday. He shows me the church keys, explaining which is which. Ruth returns with the spaghetti, a lettuce and tomatoe salad and a half loaf of toasted French bread.

Both of them bid me goodnight, and I am left with the kittens. I am actually kind of hungry and suddenly realize: I HAVE NO SILVERWARE, NO DISHES, NO GLASSES to use for the spaghetti. I burst into tears and call my folks. I just can't believe this. "I don't have any dishes or silvverware and I can't even eat my spaghetti! (my favorite!) I guess I am going to run up to this little Texaco station and see if they have any plastic dishware."

My dad very gently says, "Kim, remember where you are..."
"What do you mean?" I know where I am.

"That Texaco station is probably closed."
"Oh dad, it is only 8:15..."
"Kim...remember where you are...in small towns things close early!"

Again, I respond, "But it is only 8:15, just barely dark!"

I bid them good night, jump in the car and head to the Texaco station just about 0.5 miles from the house, and to my surprise...IT IS CLOSED!!! It closes at 8PM. Talk about culture shock...! Coming from a city that is constantly buzzing, where there are 24 hour gas stations along with 7-11's, coffee shops, restaurants, and drug stores, I am floored! It is CLOSED!

I again, burst into tears and head down the road to see if by chance there is a store open in Tatum, or at the worst, if there is any fastfood place where I can get something to eat.

The small grocery store is open (til 9, and it is now 8:45)! I grab some plastic silverware, plates and cups, along with some kitten chow and soft drinks and head home. The road is very dark and there isn't any moonlight; in fact, about the only light is an occassional lightening flash.

I return to the parsonage, dip up a bit of spaghetti, which is by now cold! Put a little salad on the plate and break off a piece of the bread and sit in the middle of the den floor tears streaming down my face, and praying... "God...I am trusting you...You got me here, and I am trusting that you will show me the way."

I hold each of my kittens, telling them they are in their new home and that we will get through this together...and then after making up the bed, I set the alarm for 6:00 AM and fall into a deep sleep...

God had brought me to this point, this place in my life, in my ministry and I was trusting that I would be led to whatever it was that God had planned for me!